Growing Into My Best Self
“I wrote this on my birthday this year when I had a chance to reflect upon my present blessings. This article just perfectly describes who I am. It is entitled “Growing Into My Best Self,” which was also based on the research paper that I wrote during my English class in College. It shows how thankful I am for both the blessings and struggles. It reminds me that the hardships and failures just made me even stronger and braver throughout the years.”
The thought of what the future will bring can either be intriguing or intimidating for a person. Those people who have some creative vision for their lives and goals to pursue are usually the ones who are excited for the future. They look forward to what the future will bring as though they look forward to a pleasant birthday surprise. No one can really predict the future, and its uncertainty worries and scares some people. But to live a compelling future, one must step out of the familiar because it is the only way to grow. This year, I learned how to turn my fear of the unknown into curiosity and excitement, strive to be better, and appreciate how far I have came.
I used to look forward to celebrating my birthday until I turned 18. In the Philippines, coming of age is celebrated in a grand way. Most teens look forward to that moment because of the freedom that being an adult entails. However, transitioning into adulthood can be terrifying for someone who had never left her comfort zone.
The responsibilities affiliated with becoming an adult can be intimidating and overwhelming. Making my own decision puts so much pressure on my shoulder. It can be stressful especially because I understand that every choice I make can affect my future. The first critical decision that I have made as an adult was picking the right major and figuring out what I wanted to do in life. Being born in a third world country where opportunities are minimal, I decided to choose a more practical choice to major in at a technical college. Two semesters have passed until a simple conversation with a mentor turned into an enlightening one, which I never thought would change my life forever. She made me rethink my career choices and introduced me to Visual Communications major. For once in a very long time, I felt excited and inspired again. At first, I was afraid to delve into the unfamiliar because I knew that once I messed it up, my confidence could possibly get damaged even more. However, I took it as a challenge and did not let self-doubts sabotage my dreams any longer this time. I learned how to replace my fear with excitement once I decided to follow my dreams.
As soon as I graduated from a technical college, I strived to be better and so I decided to apply for undergraduate degree at a University to major in graphic design. I never thought I would get in, but I am really grateful that I did. When I started my major, I noticed that I really did enjoy expressing myself through art, but I was still timid when it comes to speaking my mind during our design critiques. However, I tried to push myself past my limits by challenging myself. I joined competitions and attended conferences that forced me to talk to people more about my work, which helped me improve my self-esteem.
Aside from joining design competitions, I also used my other hobby to build up my self-confidence. Growing up, I also learned to love music because of my dad. When he first bought me a small keyboard to play with when I was young, I already knew that I wanted to learn how to play someday. Playing the piano made me feel good about myself and brought me happiness. However, I did not have the courage to pursue it before because the thought of performing piano pieces on stage as a beginner terrified me. Being shy by nature, I got so intimidated to try it. However, after I have made some critical decisions for my future all by myself and took responsibility for my own actions, I also gained some confidence to pursue my other passion even if I just started learning how to play it in my twenties.
My piano teacher helped instill some confidence in me, which made me decide to finally try performing on stage. As an adult beginner pianist, it is inevitable to make mistakes on stage, but it did not stop me from playing and performing in front of an audience at least once a year. I learned how to conquer my stage fright along the way once I realized that I would not be able to reach my full potential and achieve my dreams if I continue to get shy and self-conscious every time I am on stage. I realized that failing can be embarrassing but regretting is more painful.
Every year, I realize that I gain more wisdom and perspective from new experiences. As I grew older, I also find my true self that is within me. It reminds me that no matter how good or bad my experiences in the past were, it teaches me something; something that I no longer need to tightly control to reveal itself. I now try to allow things to unfold like gently unwrapping a birthday present. Birthdays remind me to enrich my life with surprise and to embrace the unpredictable. It helps me make sense of things and gives me an opportunity to reflect and see how much I have grown. It shows me how my old self has survived every worst day I have had in the past, which have honed me into a better person I am today. It reminds me that my old self who is shy by nature is now a confident fighter who embraces her future, which is worth celebrating each year.